rich_jacko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rich_jacko) wrote2011-08-06 09:51 am
rich_jacko) wrote2011-08-06 09:51 am
Entry tags:
World to end next Tuesday
As usual, The Daily Mash has been spot on in getting to the heart of current events, but this week's coverage of the financial crisis screw-up has been particularly brilliant:
Monday:
"Despite the deal, it's important to remember that we must all continue to live in constant, life-shortening fear because of this entirely abstract system we have created and could, if we had even a shred of imagination or genuine compassion for one another, dismantle right fucking now."
Tuesday:
"We use a very complex formula to calculate bonuses, so if, for example, profits fall by 33% then bonuses would only go up by 72%. It should be obvious how those two numbers are related, but let me explain it anyway."
Friday (1):
"I'm not sure the Royal Bank of Scotland can actually withstand another 24 hours of being run by someone with a banking qualification. It is time for them to stand aside and make way for a spoon-wielding cat chaser who will at least read the papers and watch Newsround before deciding whether or not to buy hundreds of millions of pounds worth of debt from a country that does not have any money."
Friday (2):
"Noisy room where shirty men swap zeroes have frowny day as lazy bones in sunny places say no money now and be sad."
Monday:
"Despite the deal, it's important to remember that we must all continue to live in constant, life-shortening fear because of this entirely abstract system we have created and could, if we had even a shred of imagination or genuine compassion for one another, dismantle right fucking now."
Tuesday:
"We use a very complex formula to calculate bonuses, so if, for example, profits fall by 33% then bonuses would only go up by 72%. It should be obvious how those two numbers are related, but let me explain it anyway."
Friday (1):
"I'm not sure the Royal Bank of Scotland can actually withstand another 24 hours of being run by someone with a banking qualification. It is time for them to stand aside and make way for a spoon-wielding cat chaser who will at least read the papers and watch Newsround before deciding whether or not to buy hundreds of millions of pounds worth of debt from a country that does not have any money."
Friday (2):
"Noisy room where shirty men swap zeroes have frowny day as lazy bones in sunny places say no money now and be sad."