World to end next Tuesday
Aug. 6th, 2011 09:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rich_jackoAs usual, The Daily Mash has been spot on in getting to the heart of current events, but this week's coverage of the financial crisis screw-up has been particularly brilliant:
Monday:
"Despite the deal, it's important to remember that we must all continue to live in constant, life-shortening fear because of this entirely abstract system we have created and could, if we had even a shred of imagination or genuine compassion for one another, dismantle right fucking now."
Tuesday:
"We use a very complex formula to calculate bonuses, so if, for example, profits fall by 33% then bonuses would only go up by 72%. It should be obvious how those two numbers are related, but let me explain it anyway."
Friday (1):
"I'm not sure the Royal Bank of Scotland can actually withstand another 24 hours of being run by someone with a banking qualification. It is time for them to stand aside and make way for a spoon-wielding cat chaser who will at least read the papers and watch Newsround before deciding whether or not to buy hundreds of millions of pounds worth of debt from a country that does not have any money."
Friday (2):
"Noisy room where shirty men swap zeroes have frowny day as lazy bones in sunny places say no money now and be sad."
Monday:
"Despite the deal, it's important to remember that we must all continue to live in constant, life-shortening fear because of this entirely abstract system we have created and could, if we had even a shred of imagination or genuine compassion for one another, dismantle right fucking now."
Tuesday:
"We use a very complex formula to calculate bonuses, so if, for example, profits fall by 33% then bonuses would only go up by 72%. It should be obvious how those two numbers are related, but let me explain it anyway."
Friday (1):
"I'm not sure the Royal Bank of Scotland can actually withstand another 24 hours of being run by someone with a banking qualification. It is time for them to stand aside and make way for a spoon-wielding cat chaser who will at least read the papers and watch Newsround before deciding whether or not to buy hundreds of millions of pounds worth of debt from a country that does not have any money."
Friday (2):
"Noisy room where shirty men swap zeroes have frowny day as lazy bones in sunny places say no money now and be sad."
