rich_jacko

Yesterday evening was the long-awaited Lordi gig in Manchester, where

mr_s_face and I went to ROCK! ]:o)

Despite the Manchester Academy not being signposted at all, my homing instincts and map-reading ski11z were spot-on (although we found out afterwards that we could've taken a slight detour and avoided walking through the dodgy-looking council estate...). We got there with plenty of time to spare and saw the size of the queue to get in. So we decided the best plan was to go for a swift pint or two in one of the many pun-tastic pubs ("Scu-bar"! "Kro-bar"!) in the area, rather than stand waiting for ages.

We got inside the venue just as the bearskin-clad support act, Turisas, were starting up. Their style is best described as... er... Viking metal with power violins (!), and they did a fantastic job of whipping the crowd up into a frenzy for the main act. Finland's Eurovision entry for next year, perhaps? ;o)

Turisas

The place was solidly packed, although we managed to make our way fairly close to the front of the floor. The stage was adorned with gothic arches, giant screens and huge bats (with only an upper jaw - How did they eat?). The Academy was big, but not so large that the gig didn't feel intimate. Despite foolishly splitting up several times, the three of us never had any problems finding each other again.

I was surprised that there were quite a lot of kids in the crowd (which later prompted

mr_s_face to ask if Lordi do children's parties), but it did mean we were able to find a few short people who we could see over :o)

20 minutes after the support band had finished, an unmistakable brand of Monster Rock started from the darkness of the stage. The lights stayed down as everyone strained to get a closer look. Then came the voice of Dee Snyder booming from the speakers:

"Behold the sounds that will grind your insides, the sights that will make you blind! Your walls of iron will bend and the seas will run red with your blood! The earth will quake and open its fuming maw, swallowing all the heretics and fools on the wide path to Hell! The skies will open with a thunderous raw! My little pets will fly out in swarms that will block the sun! They will kiss the flesh off the bones of those who still choose to follow the false prophets! Join us or forever drown in the pit of despair! The Scarctic Circle Gathering is now! This is the day of reckoning! This is... The Arockalypse!!!"

Lordi

The lights flared up, and there Lordi were, launching straight into Bringing Back the Balls to Rock. The crowd exploded into life! In what became the norm for the rest of the evening, almost every hand punched devil horns in the air, and almost every voice screamed along with the band:

"Attention class! - Here we come.
We kick your ass - That's lesson one.
I know you've been living in heresy.
Correction's what you need!"

"Less isn't more - less is less!
The more, the better - the most, the best!
You gotta turn up the amps past overload.
Eardrums will explode!"

"We are what we want to be,
Monsters of Rock, we are for real.
Stand up for what you believe
And shout!"

"Hail in the name of Rock and Roll!
Hail in the name of Rock and Roll!
Hail in the name of Rock and Roll!
Bringing back the balls,
Bringing back the balls to Rock!!!"

Bringing back the Balls was swiftly followed by:
- Get Heavy
- Who's Your Daddy?
- Blood Red Sandman (Massive cheers all round!)
- Deadite Girls Gone Wild
- My Heaven is Your Hell
- Supermonstars ("Are there any Supermonstars in the house?")
- It Snows in Hell ("They're not doing a ballad, surely?")
- The Devil is a Loser (Out came The Wings!)

...and many more that I can't remember right now! Plus a great drum solo by the mighty Kita (We wondered if the rest of the band had gone off to change costumes, but that didn't seem very likely...). Everyone seemed to know the songs and the band kept us shouting, jumping and clapping along throughout. More fire would have been nice, but there was no shortage of confetti and attacking the audience with smoke guns! It was one hell of an atmosphere ]:o)

Amen

I didn't think it was possible, but the place rocked even louder when they came back to do Would You Love a Monsterman? as an encore. Lordi yelled their goodbyes to Manchester, but we all knew they weren't quite finished yet. There was, after all, at least one song they hadn't done......

Mr Lordi

So they came back one final time, with Mr Lordi (complete with plastic Union Jack hat!) commanding the crowd to jump and to rock for all we were worth!
Lordi: "Hard! Rock!"
Audience: "Hallelujah!"
Lordi: "Hard! Rock!"
Audience: "Hallelujah!"
Lordi: "Hard! Rock!"
Audience: "Hallelujah!"
All: "Rock and Roll Angels bring thine Hard Rock Hallelujah!
Demons and Angels all in one have arrived!
Rock and Roll Angels bring thine Hard Rock Hallelujah!
In God's creation supernatural high!"

The gig was relatively short, and all over far too soon. (Lordi themselves were only on stage for 75 minutes.) But much as I loved it all and wanted to carry on all night, I think I might have died from the heat before too much longer! (What must it have been like inside those monster costumes?)

As we caught the bus back, my body temperature and eardrums gradually returned to normal. Unfortunately, the bus driver's idea of "Yes, I'm stopping at the station" translated to "I'm stopping a good ten minutes walk from the station and then just circling the city centre randomly." Despite a valiant effort on our part, we managed to just miss the last train back.

And so we ended up sitting in a station cafe until 2 in the morning, drinking tea, conducting savoury snack-related experiments, doing our best to ignore the crazy Scouser who kept trying to sell us his hat, and discussing the Adventures of Captain Glam versus the Zombies.

morecake & mr_s_face

We eventually caught a train and made it back to Sheffield at about 3.30 in the morning, tired but having thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It was, quite simply, the greatest and most fun event I've been to in ages! ]:o)